Newly elected U.S. President Mike Hilbert personally ordered a nuclear strike on Moscow.
The Russian capital is already in ruins and the Russian Federation surrendered unconditionally to the the allied forces of the United States and Ukraine.
“Yes, folks. This is what the world would look like if a good ole boy would be in charge instead of weak corrupt pussies.”
Now use your brains and vote for Nikki and send the fearmongering drooling rags home in shame! 🇺🇸🇺🇦✌
BTW, Nato has a nuclear defense shield and we already analyzed the hypersonic missile that thankfully landed in Poland.
Hilbert for President!
Unfortunately, Manhattan, Washington DC, Norfolk, Virginia, and a number of other US cities are also radioactive wastelands.
Keep dreaming. Our defense capabilities are far beyond your imagination. How many aircraft carriers does Russia have? ONE!
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Does it work yet?
Where is it?
Our nuclear defense shield is located in the US and Scandinavia, and it’s working.
No, the cunting piece of shit moskali rust bucket I meant!
Legally speaking it must be barred from using most of the Seas due to environmental incompatibility.
Ha,ha,ha!
Not only that, but have they got enough Tugs to move the fucker anywhere???????
Seriously though, I’m sure it is being watched and the moment it looks set to stick its ugly polluting nose out of whatever shithouse dry dock it currently inhabits it will mysteriously catch fire yet again.
Hmm, didn’t they have to first scrap the plans of restauration, and then the carrier, because the hull had rusted through, Mike? I think I’ve read something like that in the news.
Anyway, it’s not the surface ships that are a threat, but the nuclear armed submarines (“boomers”), of which RuSSia still has quite a few, and rather new ones. I don’t believe for a minute that RuSSian ICBMs still work (how to finance that?), but the sub fleet may really be dangerous. And they would launch closer to the US, reducing response times. That has to be reconned with.
We are well prepared. Our presidents and chambers may be flatlining, but our military is not.
Sure, Mike, but perfect results are rare. It’s more typical that at least one part of a plan misfires. As we Germans say:
Erst hatte er kein Glück, und dann kam auch noch Pech dazu.
(First, he ran out of good fortune, and on top of that, he had back luck)
No way. I am am former serbian volunteer, and i know how RuSSia works. We are lightyears ahead of RuSSia. BTW what part of part of Germany are you from? I live in southern Germany.
Southern Germany, that jungle, almost Italy? Nope, I’m from the more civilized North! Prost!
🍺😁
(Only joking. Nothing seriously wrong with the South, except the accents!)
Unless you are not from former Danish Schleswig-Holstein or a hanseatic city i have to tell you to GFY! 😁
I don’t count it as a full-fledged carrier, Mike. It’s half carrier, half barbecue grill.
You are sounding like Medvedev. Hyperbole like this won’t help the Haley campaign or the world, or more immediately, Ukraine. If you are serious, you are nuts; and nuts may take it seriously.
Fuck you ruSSian asshole! Putin’s end and the Free World’s liberation is nearing. No bot from St. Petersburg can stop the revolution. Nikki will win and your troll farm be one of our first targets.
Hmm, finally some good news !
^bert
After being notified of the destruction of his hometown via extremely low frequency radio, the commander of the RuSSian nuclear armed submarine Knyaz Vladimir, a devoted Putin fan, set course from the Southern Atlantic towards Florida. Two days later, after jury-rigging electrics to bypass security safeguards, he managed to launch 13 “Bulava” missiles (3 didn’t start because components failed) towards the US. Patriot batteries, which had been deployed in anticipation of a counter-attack, shot a whole dirty dozen of them down. However, unfortunately, one slipped through, at the boundary between two batteries, when both commanders thought the missile was in the other guy’s responsibility. So, with unmeasurable regret, we have to inform our readers:
Say goodbye to Disneyland!
Luckily just fiction. The Empire never fails, except with Trump.
/satire
Desperate Russian Republicans trying to pick up a vote or two.