A policy against civilian automobiles has driven Russian forces to bikes.
Dec 4, 2024
The bizarre sight of a Russian soldier on a bicycle leading an armored vehicle weighing at least 15 tons across a field just one mile from the front line, apparently somewhere in Russian-occupied Ukraine, probably isn’t an isolated incident.
A self-defeating new policy adopted by some of Russia’s regional military commands has deprived front-line regiments and brigades of the civilian vehicles they’ve long relied on to make good shortfalls of purpose-made military vehicles.
Banned from riding civilian cars, trucks, all-terrain vehicles and motorbikes into battle, more Russians are riding bicycles, instead. It’s the latest step-change in the steady devolution of the Russian armed forces amid catastrophic losses in Russia’s 33-months wider war on Ukraine.
Russian drone operators noticed the cyclist leading a BMP infantry fighting vehicle—and posted a recording of their drone feed online, along with their bemused commentary. The Estonian analyst WarTranslated helpfully translated their conversation.
“Fella on a bike is leading the BMP into [the] attack!” one Russian laughed.
“No fucking way he’s going on a bike,” another Russian mused.
“Go around the cyclist, you’re about to get fucked!” yet another Russian shouted on the radio, apparently addressing the crew of the exposed and slow-moving BMP.
“This is fucked,” a Russian muttered. “Imagine what the [Ukrainians] are thinking right now.”
Actually, Ukrainian troops have ridden around the front line on bikes, too. But not as a matter of policy. Russian troops have adopted an array of civilian vehicles to partially replace the 11,000 armored vehicles they’ve lost in Ukraine since February 2022. In many cases, the Russians didn’t bother registering the vehicles with military administrators.
It was all well and good until soldiers started drunk-driving. After a spate of alcohol-related accidents that reportedly killed 21 people this year, some Russian regional commands banned unregistered civilian vehicles.
The bans, which may already be lifting in some places, had an immediate effect—but not necessarily the effect commanders intended. “Everyone is on bicycles,” noted Two Majors, a popular Russian military blog. “Someone delivers ammunition, someone goes to positions, someone—to a meeting.”
And some cyclists are apparently leading armored vehicles toward the front line. The amused Russian soldiers watching the bike-BMP duo work its way across a field within range of Ukrainian weapons even gave the brave—or foolish—cyclist a nickname.
He wasn’t a stormtrooper. He was a “stormcyclist.”
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Sources:
3. Oryx
4. Two Majors
Now, sit back for a moment and think about how you would feel if YOUR country’s army had to resort to bicycles. I would be completely horrified.
“Imagine what the [Ukrainians] are thinking right now.”
Once they stop laughing, I guess the orc will need a new bike, and a new body.
Ukraine could donate bicycles to the orcs. Pink ones with colorful tassels on the handlebar ends.
You mean like this?
😂😂😂👍
Where are the tassels!
Ooops. They must have forgotten to put them on. 😂
Maybe they used them as shoe strings for their combat sneakers.
You know what’s coming next? The Indian bicycle trucks in place of wagons. 😁
Rickshaws? 😂