Ukraine at the psychotherapist. What could this dialogue look like?

For many, the 30th anniversary is a transitional stage and a reason for reflection and excitement. It is not always possible to deal with worries, summarize and set new goals on your own. It is much easier to do this if you seek the help of a competent psychotherapist. And what would the conversation look like if our 30-year-old country came to see such a specialist? Imagine ..

I don’t seem to be up to the challenge. Pandemic, instability – a difficult period has dragged on. What shall I do?

It is impossible to help someone who does not want to realize the problem and the need for help. Therefore, it is good that the state is aware of its problems and accepts them. 

It is necessary to return to understanding history. Wars with empires, the Holodomor, the existence of the Soviet Union – Ukraine experienced more significant problems than those it faces now. But Ukraine used to be left alone with difficulties, and now it has allies and partners. Plus, most of the population seeks to help their state. 

The one who prepares for the threat survives. After all, finding difficulties, as a result copes with them better

Other countries also have problems with the state of Ukraine. And if Ukraine were a living patient, it would be an average patient. This is a plus, because it gives an understanding of many options for solving problems. 

I think I’m more focused on the negative than the positive. Is there anything you can do about it?

Being more negative is okay. This is how our brain is arranged. This is a biological feature of any organism aimed at survival. The one who prepares for the threat survives. After all, finding difficulties, as a result copes with them better. 

The state is also a large organism. Therefore, those states that prepare for troubles, are aware of difficulties and find options to overcome them survive better. You have clearly seen in history examples when the country lived one day, not particularly worried about the difficulties, the economy, which led to problems with the European Union.

If we imagine the state as a living organism, then the population is cells. In humans, cells do not sit at rest, they are constantly looking for inflammatory processes in the body, some kind of threat. Including, thanks to cellular immunity, the person survives. Also the state. Yes, our state has a “temperature” (destabilization of the economy), there is a “nausea” (change of power, crisis). But the “organism” fights, so it survives.  

I doubt my strength, because I am facing an ocean of elections. Which way is right? How not to be mistaken?

He who does nothing is not mistaken. You should not be afraid to make a mistake, and be afraid not to find a way to solve it. 

A mistake in a patient’s life is normal. There would be no mistakes, the patient would not come to therapy. The patient who comes is sure that he is not mistaken, often a narcissist and an abuser. If the state believes that it is not wrong, it becomes totalitarian. A simple example is North Korea. 

I understand my potential, but it is difficult to create a new one, to put the old one in order. I think I have depression, what to do?

Sometimes it doesn’t make sense to fix old things, but to replace them with new ones. If something doesn’t work, it makes sense to look back. 

We must learn within the individual named Ukraine to change destructive patterns of behavior and improve existing positive models. We have no task to make the bad better. Our task is to change the bad for the good. 

Develop skills in the use of technology (Ministry of Finance), self-care (Ministry of Health), improve the cultural level (Ministry of Culture), financial management (Ministry of Finance), establish normal relations with “people” – other countries. Any creature seeks contact, you need to learn to help allies, not be ashamed to ask for help, and refuse those whom we do not want to help. 

I’m 30, but I can’t imagine what my future will be like.  

It is not helpful to think about the future because we cannot prevent it. We can only make our present more comfortable. After all, 30 or 100 years is just a number.

How to start taking care of yourself?

The first step to this is to realize that you deserve it. Ukraine is a strong ethnic and cultural center, and at least it deserves to be taken into account. After all, until Ukraine understands that it deserves good treatment, others will not tell it about it.

Fortunately, today Ukraine has already begun to take care of itself.

Spartak Subota, psychotherapist, candidate of psychological sciences, scientific director of the Institute of Cognitive Modeling

(c)UNIAN 2021

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